Think You're Not a Perfectionist?🤔Think Again. 💡

Many high achievers I work with don’t think they struggle with perfectionism.

They’re not obsessing over every detail. They’re not trying to get gold stars on every task. In fact, many of them are practical, grounded, and incredibly efficient and productive.

So, when someone suggests that they might be a perfectionist, it doesn’t land.

That’s because perfectionism isn’t just about being perfect. It’s much sneakier than that. 

Perfectionism is actually about the need to earn love and admiration through accomplishment and achievement. It's a belief that we're not enough.

We call it drive. Excellence. Ambition. But underneath, it’s often fear that tells us, “If I’m not extraordinary, I won’t be loved.”

As a result, perfectionism can show up as:

• Constantly chasing achievement to prove you’re good enough

• Feeling anxious if you’re not doing something “impressive”

• Struggling to rest without guilt

• Craving admiration, but feeling disconnected from real closeness

As a lawyer and recovering perfectionist, I get it—deeply. I lived in that fear. Achievement was how I earned approval. It gave me something to point to when I didn't feel like enough.

But here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way): The more we strive to be admired, the more we risk feeling alone. Because admiration puts us on a pedestal—when what we’re really craving is connection and belonging.

And, that “not enough” feeling doesn’t go away with more success. It only softens when we start relating to ourselves differently; when we learn to lead from wholeness, not hustle.

You don’t have to prove your worth. You already have it. Let’s build a life that reflects that truth.