Does your brain have an off switch?

An Insight

The mind like a campfire; it only burns brightly when there’s space between the logs.

A Story

I grew up in a house with a red chair. It wasn’t a decorative red chair. It was disciplinary. When we were in trouble, we sat in the red chair to think about what we did wrong. No distractions. No escape. Just thinking. 

I got very good at thinking. I learned to replay conversations and events, identify mistakes, anticipate consequences, and strategize solutions. Those skills served me well. They made me responsible, conscientious, and introspective. But they also trained me to live in the mental chatter in my head, which created persistent anxiety.

Humans can think at a rate of roughly 4,000 words per minute. It can feel as if a radio station is always playing in the background of the mind, broadcasting a running commentary whether we want to listen or not. This inner voice isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it’s one of our greatest cognitive tools. The inner voice is what enables us to reflect, plan, rehearse, and learn. It’s central to being human. 

But the same system that allows us to plan and reflect can also downward spiral. Chatter refers to the inner voice when it becomes unproductive, negative, and hostile. Chatter includes patterns such as: rumination, worry, self-criticism, self-judgment, comparison, and catastrophizing. Instead of helping us solve problems, the mind loops. Instead of preparing us for action, it immobilizes us. The tool that evolved to help us navigate life becomes a source of psychological distress.

A few years ago, on the topic of stress management, my therapist asked about my relationship with mental boundaries. I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained that I might benefit from learning how to turn off my brain to combat my anxiety. It had never occurred to me that my stress problem was a too much thinking problem. I needed to learn how to get myself out of the red chair.

We can think of the mind like a campfire; it only burns brightly when there’s space between the logs. Packed too tightly, without oxygen, the flames die out. Just like a fire needs space to burn, our minds need space to rest and reset. Constant thought with no space between isn’t sustainable. It leads to burnout, not brilliance.

So, if our inner voice is both a superpower and a vulnerability, how do we harness it without being hijacked by it? The challenge isn’t eliminating the inner voice; it’s learning how to manage it. When we learn to regulate it, the mind becomes what it was meant to be: a tool, not a tormentor.

A Reflection

Do you feel like your brain doesn’t have an off switch? How can you create a little space between the logs this week?

A Quote

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

— Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (1994)

An Invitation

If your mind feels like it is always “on,” you're not alone. Learning how to step out of the red chair and create space in your thinking is an invaluable skill that can be learned through practice.

If you are curious about how to manage mental chatter and reclaim focus, clarity, and calm, I'd be delighted to explore that work with you.